The Overwhelming Feeling of S.A.D
Stress, anxiety and depression can be draining. So much so, that you can’t get out of bed, you can’t seem to be able to make yourself get up and eat, or to get yourself to stop eating, or to even communicate to anyone. Stuff around your room piles up because you don’t have the energy to pick anything up. It seems like you’re alone in a fight that no one else can see, they can’t see what you’re fighting against, can’t see what is swallowing you whole into an abyss of nothing. Your body shaking, the fear of anything going wrong, anything being out of align of the routine, anyone getting upset or angry or disappointed at you or what you have done. This beats you down, over and over and over again, and it is everything you can do to just stay afloat and breathe. You’re so exhausted because you face the same fight everyday, using more and more effort to push it back after each day, so much you wear yourself thin, and the fight gets harder. You become overwhelmed. You start questioning. Is this worth it? Is this all there is? When will it get better? Does anyone even care? Do they not see this? Is this all in my head? What’s wrong with me? What have I done wrong? These questions starts softly, yet the longer this spiral of dark lasts it gets louder, and louder. It eventually gets so loud that you snap. You yell at someone, you break something, you hurt yourself, you hurt someone else.